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Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
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No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
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I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
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A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
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Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
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Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
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If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
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I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
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The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
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If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
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Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
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The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
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Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
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If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
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Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
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I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
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Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
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Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
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The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
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In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
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Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
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A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
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Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
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After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
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The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
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Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
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So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
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Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
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The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Throughout American history, the government has said we\'re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It\'s a hoax.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
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It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
We\'ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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